I'm Not Her
by Bunny-Chaaan
Summary: My life has basically been full of disappointments. If you were the younger, awkwarder, shyer, flawed younger sister of the exquisite, perfect Lily Kagene. There is a difference. There's always a difference. She was always better, and she always will be better. So when a guy, especially a freaking popstar named Len Kagamine approaches you and not her..it's surprising. Extremely.
1. Prologue

I'm Not Her *Prologue*

Lily Kagene...Gorgeous face, beautiful eyes, admirable curves, long shiny hair, rosy cheeks— she's perfect. Absolutely perfect, and everything I'm _not_.

When the first thing people do when—or if— they notice that _the _Lily Kagene has a younger sister is:

Compare.

But they don't get it, I'm not like her; I'm not perfect. I _don't _have what she has. I _don't _have admirable curves or long shiny hair. I _can't_ do what she can. I'm not the main character. I'm not the hero. I'm the extra...the sidekick.

I will never really have what she has and I probably never will.

But they still don't get that; they still choose to compare.

I can't grab attention just like that— because they're all too caught up with what my sister is doing. I don't receive bouquets of flowers from guys— because they're all too busy oogling my sister. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to do that.

I couldn't be her.

No matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much people expect me to, I can't. I will always be the extra, the supporting character..the _sidekick_. Never the hero; nothing less, nothing more than that.

I am completely 100% sure that related to the most perfect girl in the whole freaking world, we are nothing alike. At all.

I'm always just..just _Lily's baby sister._ I'm Rin Kagene, and this is the story of how someone, for once in my life, made me feel like _I_ was the lead, and made me proud for once that I wasn't her. That I'm not her.


	2. Chapter 1: I'm Not Lily!

**WADDUP MY PEOPLE!**

**...**

**WAIT DON'T KILL ME YET. I'm sorry I haven't updated in 3000000000 years. I've been very EXTREMELY busy and— you know, nevermind. I'm a very horrible person and deserve to get bulldozed by you guys. But hey! New Chapter! **

**That's progress!**

**...right? **

**But First! Thank you to all of the people who have read this and liked it and I hope you continue and wait for these extremely slow updates without finding out where I live and killing me in my sleep! :3**

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**Kagamine-RinCVO2: Yup! I assure you it is 100000% Rin x Len :3 Woah woah WOAH WAIT. This is new...I, the incredibly flawed Bunny-Chaaan, inspire people. The world must be ending. **

**Clear Cyan: This has to be the most inspiring/beautiful thing I have ever read. I know you said that you would wait patiently for the next chapter, but I think you're pretty close to murdering me too right now... And I apologize if this chapter has a sh**load of grammar misconceptions and stuff and if I don't meet up to your expectation. I am sorry. This is literally my second story ever. I AM SORRY AND DONNOT BE DISSAPOINTED PLEASE. **

**Arrow-chan3: HOLD IT HOLD IT. SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL TO THE E.R. RUSSURECTION IN PROSSES. **

**ManlyBlue: Yay! I'm unique :D Guess you could call me a special child!**

**...wat. No. Actually, just ignore that... ehem. I PROMISE LONG CHAPTERS. (And a few short ones here and there but just a few ;)) **

**Misakiflamehaze: Dude, we both know that I'm capable of going to your house right now and showering you with cookies and thank yous so let's just leave it at that. **

**Lizway: Gomenasai! I'm so sorry that I didn't update sooner T_T. But don't worry, most of the chapters are gonna be long, that one was just a prologue **

**Hi: Hi. Such motivation. Thanks. **

**Kireina Yume: ... This is actually the comment that got me to get of my butt and stop fangirling over Elsa and write the second chapter. So here, an imaginary cookie for incredible support! P.S. Don't murder me. Homicide is illegal, this isn't the hunger games. (yet.) **

**So without further interruptions, I GIVE YOU THE FIRST CHAPTER OF I'M NOT HER! *tries to cooly sashay out of the room but then trips and dies***

Chapter One: "I'm not Lily!"

"_Lily Kagene..."_

How I've always longed, always hoped for someone—anyone— to say my name like they do when they speak hers. As if the whole world might as well fall apart; it's like if they say her name anymore louder, she might break. They've always said her name as if she was the most important—and sometimes, the only— girl in their own little world.

And maybe in more ways than one, she is.

Since this large orb of blue & green masses we call home is composed of even littler worlds; composed out of thoughts (which, now that I think about it, are very small on their own) and are controlled by even the tiniest emotions stored into—more or less, maybe...kind of—these tiny little bodies. Some filled with numbers and analytical shit I'll never understand, and some filled with words and sentences and deep meanings (yet another thing I guess I'll never understand). But everyone has a centre. Everyone has some sort of 'it' or 'who' that their tiny world revolves upon. And to most people, she was that.

Like she didn't already have all the looks and the hair and the attention that I never could have, she had something that bothered my even more. Something that made me sink even deeper into the seemingly endless abyss of her shadow even more—the way everyone talks to her, talks about her, and even just the way people say her freaking four-letter _name._

They say everything to her almost as if they were all scared to say her name in any ungraceful way lest she shatters into a million pieces.

Why hasn't anyone done that to me?

Why couldn't I be like her?

Why couldn't I be her?

Even if I maybe look like her, what happened to me?

Why can't _I _ get noticed?

Shouldn't the sidekick at least get some credit?

But that was not how fate designed the path that destiny has forced me to walk in—my own sister's shadow. You could say that it's cold living in the shadow of your own kin, but maybe it's not of my own blood. Maybe it's just a tiny string that grew out of my own blood and then evolved into a terrifying shadow. And it kept evolving until it became a fear. But it didn't stop there; it kept evolving and evolving until it turned into a monster.

A monster so big, all you could see was a terrifyingly black, a human-less shadow. One that held you captive and scared you so much that all you could even try to do was look at your own shadow and wonder if it will ever turn against you and become a monster such as that.

But you can't even do that anymore. The monster has gotten too big for me to even be able to see my own shadow; it has finally been consumed...

"Rin?"

A voice snapped me out of my thoughts and saved me from its suffocating grasp. For now.

"Rin?" The same voice called out to me again, just like it had a million other times before, but unlike all the other times before, I ignore it.

"YO RIN!" The voice shouted, completely snapping me from my weird trance.

"Y-Yes!" I shout, slightly stunned by the loud proximity of the voice.

I looked up from the gravel that I've gotten used to looking down upon for so long to see the perfect silhouette of the beauty that is Lily Kagene.

"Geez Rin, if you keep zoning out like that all the time, you're going to hit a pole or something..." she sighed, pointing out another one of my many flaws that she has never experienced.

_Like I already didn't know..._

"R-Right. I was just—" I started but was cut off my Lily.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we're at school already." She says calmly and I just continue to gaze at her.

Lily soon notices me staring at her and then smiles, causing me to look away and back to the plain gravel I've grown so used to. And I swear, just for a second, I saw her eyebrows crease into a face of worry.

"Ne Rin, It's your first day of school as a second-year middle schooler so you should lighten up, Okay?" She tried to cheer me up.

"Kay," I reply.

"Okay."

And before the awkward silence has time to drift and settle upon the two of us, a crowd of her 'friends' (A.K.A. half the entire damn school) ran towards her and welcomed the legendary Lily Kagene into the 3rd year's building leaving me completely alone. Once again.

I sigh and clutch my school bag's straps tighter as I pass through my middle school's gates and head to the strange unknown that is the second year's building.

_God help me..._

* * *

"**2-A"**

I stare up to the plain placard's words written in bold before entering the noisy classroom.

As I slide open the door, I find myself in amidst the normal first day of school protocol— people already gathered into groups, crowding over each other's tables, making friends, doing the whole socializing thing I could never actually do, etc. What did get my attention was that there were only a few other people in another group, and the majority of the class were all hunched over one desk in the middle row, chattering noisily.

As I curious as I was, there are a whole lot of people there. And a whole lot of people means someone was _bound _to talk to me, and talking leads to conversations, and conversations lead to being social, and though I am the sister of Lily Kagene, I don't do socializing. That's Lily's thing. And I can never do things that Lily is good at.

So I take the only empty seat available—which was fortunately next to a window—and hung my bag where I should my bag and sit there quietly, my left hand chained to the right, staring out into space. Then the bell rings and then the teacher comes in and then the class quiets down and then it's basically a reply of the last first day of school I had. Same old boring protocol on the same old Monday and the same old storybook just repeats and repeats from there.

I was one row away from the centre row.

As the whole class quiets down, I sneak a peek at the middle row just out of curiosity but the people in front of me were a bit too tall and all I could see was a flash of blonde from the seat where everyone was crowding awhile ago.

As the homeroom teacher droned on and on, the curiouser and curiouser I got. Just as the teacher turned her back on us to write on the chalkboard, something hit me on the back of my head. I turned around to see my best (not to mention only) friend, Miku Hatsune grinning madly at me. In response, I cocked an eyebrow towards her, but she just shook her head.

The first few classes of the morning flew by very quickly, almost as if someone was skimming through the pages of a book. Soon, the familiar sound of the bell chimed and echoed through the halls, signifying lunch.

I saw a few students stretch in their seats before hurriedly rushing off to meet their friends. Just as everybody else, I was about to stand up but before I could, Miku beat me to it and stood in front of my desk.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi Rin-Chan!" She greeted me excitedly before grabbing me by the arm and dragging me out of the classroom. "W-Where are you taking me, Miku?" I asked, surprised by the sudden gesture of the tealette.

"To the roof." she says bluntly, not bothering to stop dragging me out of the safe comfort of the classroom.

"Uh..." I start, waiting for an explanation for her dragging me to the roof on the first day of school. She still didn't stop.

"What?" She asked, still persisting towards the door. "Why exactly are we going to the roof on the first day of school?" I ask.

"Well duh, it's lunch. We eat during lunch. And I'm _starving_ and I have takoyaki for lunch so let's go!" She started speeding up. "B-But," I start but she cuts me off.

"No butts except yours up the roof."

"But—"

"Nope."

"BUT—"

"What now?" Miku asks irritably. "At least let me get my lunch!" I finally blurted it out, leaving a blank expression on the tealettes face.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" Miku smiled, pushing me back towards my desk. I sigh for like the third time today before getting my bento and heading up to the roof with the extremely hyper Miku.

* * *

When we opened the large metal door that lead to the roof, I breathed a sigh of relief to see that no one else was there but us.

"As anti-social as ever, I see Rinny." Miku shook her head and moved towards the railings of the roof, sitting down and motioning for me to sit next to her.

"Hey, don't judge." I defended myself. "I wasn't," Miku took a bite of her bento, "I was simply making an observation."

"Yeah, well I don't want it." I say, sitting down next to her but Miku just rolled her eyes. "I wasn't asking you to accept it." She shot back, taking another bite of her takoyaki.

"Well then why did you give it to me in the first place?" Another bite.

"Rin Kagene just shut up and eat your lunch or I." I chuckled and Miku began rambling about something but I zoned out a few seconds after she started.

* * *

After that strange little debate Miku and I had going on during lunch, nothing else of much significance happened until the end of the day. After lunch ended, Miku and I went back to our seats, another teacher came in and the story just repeated itself once again. Skim and skim again. A few notes were passed here and there, etcetera, etcetera, one boring page after another.

And before you know it, it's already the end of the day, which significantly means the end of yet another school day, which is far more significant than any other event that had happened to me so far since the start of the day.

Miku and I managed to find each other amongst the huge masses of people and started to walk home together like we always do. The two of us were having a decent conversation up until the point that I realized I forgot my books at school, swore in the middle of a decent-enough sentence and told Miku to go ahead before hastily jogging back to school.

"Well, I'm telling you, if people ever invent a—oh shit!" I swore back then and then ran back to school.

* * *

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God. I am never ever forgetting any of my stuff in school ever again.

I run back up to the second year's building after hastily putting my uwabaki on and nearly tripping on the stairs. I opened the sliding door a bit too forcefully than I intended to, and to my surprise, I saw a boy inside the classroom. It was even more surprising when I saw who it was.

...Oh sweet God.

It's Len Kagamine. **The** Len freaking Kagamine. Len freaking Kagamine. One of the most famous stars in Japan. And he is staring at me. Me. This is not normal. I feel my cheeks slowly start to get warmer and warmer until I'm sure I look like a bleeding tomato.

"Uh," I utter stupidly, "I-I just c-came to get my books so, uh, s-sorry!" I brushed passed him as fast as I could, hoping that I could just run over to my desk and get my books then run out and forget this mess ever happened as fast as I could. But then again, life just enjoys making me suffer so of course I just had to trip and fall directly in front of him.

As if on instinct, Len freaking Kagamine jumps in and catches me right before I fall to the ground, holding me up by my waist. It takes me awhile to process what just happened and when I actually do, if humanly possible, my face turns even redder than it was before.

I quickly regain my footing and stumble to my place and quickly retrieved my books. "S-S-Sorry!" I say before speed walking towards the door, but a hand grabbed my wrist before I could get out and my eyes widens as I see who it is. Len Kagamine.

Len Kagamine is holding my wrist. Len freaking Kagamine is holding my wrist. Okay, what is happening and why is it happening to me.

Len realizes what he had done and immediately retracted his hand from my wrist and started blushing himself. "S-Sorry, it's just I...uh, I..." He stammered, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"I, uh, just, um was wondering if I could possibly ask what your last name is?"

What? My last name? Why could he possibly want to know what my last name is?

"Uh..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say. "A-Ah! It's alright if you're not comfortable with that strange question. F-Forget I ever asked" Len hastily said, and as if by instinct I blurted out my last name.

"K-Kagene!"

"Excuse me?" Len asked, a bit taken aback by my sudden reply. "K-Kagene. My last name is Kagane." I repeated myself, this time bit calmer and composed.

As soon as I say my last name, his calm cerulean eyes grew wider. I soon realized what I said. Kagene. I said Kagene. Oh my God, he thinks I'm Lily! I have to tell him. But before I could even utter a sound, he beats me to it.

"Oh thank God I found you," he exclaimed, "You agreed to meet up with Crypton this afternoon to discuss the scouting, I'm here to pick you up..." He nudged me towards the door.

"But—," I tried interjecting, but Len wouldn't let me. "Come on, we need to go or else we'll be late." He inquired before carefully grabbing my wrist and leading me towards the door. "You don't understand, I'm—," he interrupts me once again, "Come on, the producer's going to murder us both if we're late, now let's go Lily."

Lily. Lily. I should have known way to better. It was always Lily.

"Len, I—," He didn't stop talking. "Len!" I raised my voice, finally getting his attention this time. "What? Can't just talk about this in the car? I told you, Lily, we're running late—,"

"I'M NOT LILY!"

* * *

**WHOOP WHOOP! CLIFFHANGER! **

**...I am willing to bet you want to hang me off a cliff, don't you guys? :3 **

**Ahem, putting the murder and potential homicide aside, please R&R and I'm open to suggestions :3 **

**BAAAAAAIIIII **

—**Bunny-Chaaan—**


	3. Chapter 2: A shadow's plea

**SUP PEOPLEZ! Heeey, normal update! Whoop whoop! **

**So I must, henceforth I shall, dedicate this little chappie here to my friend Misakiflamehaze! IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! LET'S ALL HAVE CAKE! WHOOPIE! Oh and Misaki...**

**Usui. **

**:D**

** NOW FOR THE REVIEWS!**

**~Prologue~**

**Snailing-along: Thanks so much for your review :3**

**~Chapter 1~**

**Kagamine-RinCVO2: Thanks! :D IT HAS BEEN SO LONG. UP TOP MAN! I know right? Oh Lily... tsk tsk. **

**What. What did I just do. Oh my gawd I just tsk-tsked! I FEEL SO BAWS.**

**Sakura-RinChan: Oh don't worry, everything will be explained this chapter ;)**

**Arrow-chan3: Well...I see you have revived since the last update...I guess. Oh, and about the last chapter he..he..he *nervous laughter* A-Arrow-chan...put back the chainsaw. Everything shall be explained this chapter. DON'T KILL HIM YET.**

* * *

_"Len, I—," he didn't stop talking. "Len!" I raised my voice, finally getting his attention this time. "What? Can't we just talk about this in the car? I told you, Lily, we're running late—,"_

_"I'M NOT LILY!"_

* * *

"W-What?" Len asked, dumbfounded by what I had just said. "I-I'm not Lily Kagene..." I trailed off awkwardly, having noticed what I had just done. Great. I just shouted at one of the most famous stars in all of Japan.

Good job, Rin.

"Well then you said that your last name was Kagene, right? Is that true or a lie?" He cocked a blonde eyebrow towards me. "Y-Yes. It's true." I said silently, almost to myself.

"Well then, if you're not Lily, then who could you be?" He squinted. "I-I'm R-Rin Kagene.." I stammered, looking down at the tinted blue of the tiles of the room. Len didn't sound so convinced.

"I didn't know Lily had a sister?" Len had his eyes squinted at me sceptically. I opened my mouth to answer him but another voice cuts in before I could.

"Actually, she does." Sweet as honey and smooth as silk. There was only one voice I have ever heard that was like that.

Lily.

Both mine and Len's heads followed the source of the voice and simultaneously turned our heads towards the entrance to see the one and only, Lily Kagene leaning against the smooth door frame of 2-A's classroom with her arms crossed and her mouth in a half-smile.

"O-Onee-chan!" We both jumped to see her standing there. "Eh?" 'Onee-chan?' Then that means.." Len wondered out loud. His eyes widening as he pieced everything together.

"Lily?" He asked. "Yup. That's me," she replied, still standing in the doorway. I heard Len gulp. "R-Really?" He didn't sound as sceptical as he should.

"The one and only." She replied, unfolding her arms and walking up to us. Her steps echoed on the cold tiles of the classroom. Once she was directly in across the table where the two of us were, she leaned in as if she was about to tell us a secret. But instead, she said "So, what's all about this and me and my sister?"

* * *

We were all on our way now to the school entrance; Lily leading the way and Len and I falling back in an awkward silence.

"So..uh, um uh." Len's voice trailed off as he tried so desperately to avoid drowning in the awkward silence that is already waist-deep. "S-Sorry for mistaking you for Lily awhile back..." mistake

"Yeah, um, why _did _you me for Onee-chan? She's so...different from me," I asked quietly; More to myself than to Len.

"Well," he rubbed his neck nervously, "I-I haven't really seen Lily before this a-and I didn't know she had a sister so when you said your last name was Kagene..." Len was blushing now.

"It's alright," I said, "More than half the school doesn't know that Lily Kagene has a sister, and I've been here for a year." I waved it off as if it was nothing.

_I'm already used to it._ Were the words that weren't said, but was heard.

Len looked surprised at the calmness of how I said it, but left the topic. We remained silent until Lily stopped abruptly at the now deserted main gates. "Okay, so here's the plan," she clasped her hands together and faced the two of us.

"Rin, you're going to be me at the meeting," She said bluntly.

"Okay?"

"W-What?" I asked, baffled on what she had just said. _Me? She expects me to even try to be her?_

Lily sighed. "Look, Rin, I'm tired of being wanted by everybody. I was literally mobbed today by basically everyone in school, think of how that would increase tenfold if I become a Vocaloid. So please, for your sister, help me out." She tried reasoning with me, to which I replied, "A-Are you kidding me? You want _me_ to even try being _you_? Why can't you ask anybody else Onee-chan? Plus we look and act completely different!"

"Relax Rin. All you have to do is sign the contract, and if anybody asks, I cut my hair." I looked desperately at Len, hoping he could try reasoning out with my sister, but all he did was give me a look that said: _'She's your sister, you do it.'_

"S-Sign the contract? But doesn't that mean I become I Vocaloid after that?" I hesitated. "Yes, but you know how mom and dad are, they've been pushing me to do this for months. Leave everything else to me, Rin. Just sign the contract and meet the fans. Please." She looked at me with these sad blue eyes she knows I can't resist, so I eventually give up and say yes.

"Great! So now," she turns to Len, "I expect you to guide and take care of my sister, Len-kun." I hear Len gulp once more before replying. "Y-Yes, Lily-senpai."

Lily started walking ahead of us and then motioned for us to follow. Once we stepped out of the gates and onto the streets, we all immediately see a fairly large man in a black suit standing next to a limousine. "Mr. Kagamine, have you found Ms. Kagene?" Lily nudged Len and whispered something in his ear before he gave out his reply. "Y-Yes, I have," He curved his arm around my shoulder and shushed me before I reacted.

The man seemed a bit sceptical at first, but ushered us in the sleek black limo anyway. "Who is this?" the guy gestured at Lily, the _real _Lily but before Len made up an excuse, she spoke up. "Oh, my apologies for not introducing myself sir, I'm Rin Kagene, Lily's older sister." The guy raised an eyebrow to this. "I've come for moral support." Lily flashed her golden smile of hers to the tall bulky man.

"Uh, it's fine, it's fine, let her in." Len hollered to the man from inside. The man grunted before motioning Lily to get in the car. After the door closed and the man got into the driver's seat and soon started the car.

"W-Where are we going?" I whispered to Len, "To Crypton." He whispered back, his breath warm and ticklish against my ear.

* * *

The driver stopped the car 30 minutes later and said that we were here. I looked at Lily and then to Len only to see them not opening either of the doors. I leaned over to open Lily's side of the door but she held my arm and told me to 'just wait'.

I didn't know what we exactly were waiting for, but it all fell into place when the guy opened Lily's side of the door and then we all got out of the car and then went in to an enormous building that I presume is Crypton.

* * *

Wow. Let me tell you this, Crypton is just as grand and fancy as it is on the outside. Beautiful marble floors, splashes of gold, brown, and yellow everywhere...it was surely something that could take your breath away.

While marvelling at the beauty of the interior of Crypton, I somehow managed to lose both Lily and Len. Panicking, I reached for the closest door I could find in hopes of finding them. I looked around and all I could see was darkness, so I decided to take a step forward when suddenly the door closes in. I quickly turned around and tried to yank open the door, but it was locked.

I started yelling for help and banging on the door, but it seems as if no one is here to hear me at all. After a while, I give up and slide down to the floor.

I hold my knees up to my face and started crying. No one has answered my calls, and it seems as if no one will. Why would anyone answer a shadow's plead when they can marvel at the person itself?

* * *

**Hey, guys! I'm sorry if this chapter was a bit rushed, but it's really late here and I'm sleepy and I'll just edit it in the morning but oh wait. I have CLASSES. D: OH BUT I CAN SEE MISAKI OH OKAY BAAAAAAAAI!**


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